Dating goes against everything we've been taught; were told as young kids to go out and get what we want. To fight for what we deserve.. But in dating you can only go half way, because the other half of success lays in someone elses Palms.. And they then also have power over our emotions.
It's an instant self esteem crusher; and people don't avoid it, because as humans we all need companionship of some kind; rather it be actual human companionship, a pet, or an object, every human needs it. And when you lose that companionship, is when your heart breaks and you feel your lowest. Even if it wasn't a "serious" relationship.
For example, if I want to be a doctor when I grow up, every step to that process is in my hands. That's the job I'd LOVE to have and ONLY I can shape it the way I want it to go...
BUT with dating, were limited to how far were allowed to go with our "dream."
Say I start working with this nice guy at work. We become friends then I start to get really attracted to him, and figure I'll give him a chance.. I can make all the moves I want on the board, but if he doesn't make enough to be even with mine, games over. I can't continue on playing, now matter how bad I want to. It's their turn; they need to roll the dice.
8.17.2010
Disconnect from it... now?
Fuck. Do I ever win? Seriously. Ugh, I hate having crushes, and I hate making moves. I hate everything about boy and girl attraction. >:/
8.13.2010
14yr old butterflies are back
Why I am I so nervous for tomorrow? So nervous on what to wear; what to drink; who to drive; how to talk; how to act; nervous about the music; nervous about my friends; how to seem perfect in the seeming perfect guy that I get to try and impress. Gosh, so much pressure for single gals. Especially when this guy is nearly perfect. I get butterflies with him. <3 bassist.
8.03.2010
I was once an ugly duck; then I realized I was really the swan.
"Once you let go of the wrong person, you can receive the right person."'
The people one needs in his or her life, should be someone who proves they want us in their life. How is it, I was so naive that I didn't realize this? How is it people who I consider my best friends the last 6 years, now feel as a person I am inferior to them? I don't understand how I could be so easily, negatively judged, when I am dong positive things? So this is a big fuck you to anyone who hates me; you must not recognize what great is. ;)
I refuse to allow myself to get upset because I'm not being accepted by someone who doesn't matter. The only hard part is I did love most of them; friend love, but one romantic connection. I have a gut feeling that it's there; actions speak louder than words, but until were on the same level in life, maybe it'll work out... But until then:
- Oh yeah, THAT drunk hookup did happen.
- He did kiss her
- They are doing each other
- He does smoke weed, a lot actually
- and it's true, he's lacking.
- and 4/9'closet friends have texted HER dirty texts.. And they all denied it to you... But she still just wants you. Your friends obviously think she's worth a good wam'.. Sack up, bitch.
There's your high school group gossip of the last year.
Now all of you can fuck yourselves if you judge me. :)
Oh! And one more thing; you're gunna regret treating me the way you did. I promise you, I would have been the greatest girlfriend you could have ever had. I would have been the best in every room of the house, I would have had necks breaking when we went out; and I would have been the BEST FRIEND you always had.. But now you've lost me. Good bye. Dam.. <3 it'll be too late when you realize it too.
The people one needs in his or her life, should be someone who proves they want us in their life. How is it, I was so naive that I didn't realize this? How is it people who I consider my best friends the last 6 years, now feel as a person I am inferior to them? I don't understand how I could be so easily, negatively judged, when I am dong positive things? So this is a big fuck you to anyone who hates me; you must not recognize what great is. ;)
I refuse to allow myself to get upset because I'm not being accepted by someone who doesn't matter. The only hard part is I did love most of them; friend love, but one romantic connection. I have a gut feeling that it's there; actions speak louder than words, but until were on the same level in life, maybe it'll work out... But until then:
- Oh yeah, THAT drunk hookup did happen.
- He did kiss her
- They are doing each other
- He does smoke weed, a lot actually
- and it's true, he's lacking.
- and 4/9'closet friends have texted HER dirty texts.. And they all denied it to you... But she still just wants you. Your friends obviously think she's worth a good wam'.. Sack up, bitch.
There's your high school group gossip of the last year.
Now all of you can fuck yourselves if you judge me. :)
Oh! And one more thing; you're gunna regret treating me the way you did. I promise you, I would have been the greatest girlfriend you could have ever had. I would have been the best in every room of the house, I would have had necks breaking when we went out; and I would have been the BEST FRIEND you always had.. But now you've lost me. Good bye. Dam.. <3 it'll be too late when you realize it too.
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