RayyyChill

Lets start this like this; seriously?
Thats about the only word I can think of. For months now, I've written these blogs to express emotion, and frustration I've had on the entire world. With that being said, I have not been able to come up with anything for you, until right now. When I'm working a 16 hour shift...(thinking time much?)
I remember first meeting you. PROBABLY in your front yard, and you were petite, with glasses. Such a nerd. You would draw me pictures, and you seemed to think so highly of me. Which I never wanted to take advantage of, thus I tried to ignore it. Small talk here, and small conversations there. Funny how things change huh?
I was excited when I first saw you in the hallways of your freshman year. You were my bestfriends little sister; I wanted to look out for you. I think the first time you really opened up to me was about MARIO... You were so caught up. NOT IN A BAD WAY. I mean thats the first time I personally saw you passionate about something. And throughout the years, I've seen it more and more. You're a driven person, and I love it.
Now the sad part; The last year, I told you EVERYTHING. I trusted you so much, which I'm still trying to figure out why I felt so comfortable with you to open up as much I did. When everyone decided it was "Blow up on Kayla" day, I think I probably cried the hardest with your texts; and you know what...I wish it hadnt been that way. The boys yes, treated me wrong, but for someone who I would drop anything for to try and make you feel better, I just didnt understandd how you could take every flaw of mine and throw it back in my face. However, I understand where you were coming from, and how I'm like 99% sure you didnt mean to hurt me as bad as you did. I feel as if Iknow you, and your personally pretty well. I mean lets be serious, you are a Pisces. ;) I respect you for what you said (I still have all the texts saved). But I wish you could have just came to ME, rather than 3-4 other people.
I'm the type of person who would rather forgive than forget, as you should know, and I still think about our times everyday, and still look for the TWT mobile out and about, so I was never ready to just give up. The only reason why I finally quit trying to impress all of you was because I felt like I was left for dead. But I do miss you. I do care about you. I do still want you in my life, because its like the positives outweight the negatives (sound firmiliar?)
My only warning is this; I'm not putting myself out there for anyone again like I did to you for a long time. I want to start over with you, and I want to build ontop of disaster. You're still my Taylor Swift singing partner [I havnt listened to a full song since our fight :,( ]
ANNNDDDD lets me honest. I really fucking miss Chuck. straight up. Oh and I have a shit ton of your movies! I'd love to sit down, have coffee, and just talk. We dont have to be perfect, but I'd like to try to work on things. We both have so much going on for us, where I think we wont turn into an unhealthy relationship again. I feel like we can get back on the level we were when we were Happy. Happy as friends. NOT constantly trying to figure out how the other one feels about anything that was said. Not having to worry about the views of OTHER PEOPLE. Just you and I. Thats what friendships should be. Just the two people involved.
I'm thankful that you facebooked me. I've thought about you almost everyday, and have had to hold back typing you a letter. But I have been planning on writing this blog for you, so HAHA you're stuck with it. ;)
I'd like for you to think about everything, and hopefully you dont still think so poorly of me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving in. I've realized that you to me are worth a blog dedicated to you. I feel like you're one of the few people now who are WORTH my acceptance and respect.
I'll always be here for you. Lastly, I love you like a little sister, and I'd love to see you soon. You're an amazing girl, and I like watching you accomplishing goals. Can we make this work? You have the digits ;) Or just facebook me. Whatever.